Being Alice
by Thatgirlwhowrotestuff
Summary: Alice feels she has to save the people of Fork's lives, but when fate slowly catches up on her she begins to wonder if the people were all meant to die.
1. Chapter 1

**Being Alice**

Chapter one

"Can we not go any faster than this?" I turned to Jasper, why did I ever let him drive? He was so useless when it came to driving. Why were we going so slowly? Oh yeah, because I let Jasper drive. If it wasn't for the noise I wouldn't of been able to tell the engine was running.

"Alice, there's traffic. The carnival's on remember?" he shrugged looking impatiently out of his window, in that case why didn't we walk? We were only going to the Newton's hiking shop. I could see the future and even I didn't see this, where did all these people come from!? Last year's carnival didn't turn out this well. We pulled up outside the shop, we came here alot to just get extra hiking gear – there's no such thing as too many oversized boots!

"We never use any of this stuff, so why do we bother?" I droaned stroking the hood of my beautiful yellow porche, it was a present from Edward and I adored it like it was my own child. "Because we have to live the lie" he said putting his arm around my shoulder, "And we use _some_ of this stuff" he pointed out.

I groaned, I loved shopping but this wasn't _clothing_ this was rain macks, backpacks and pocket knives. I think we had actually been hiking once in Esme's attempts to amuse Renesmee, she seemed to love rolling around in the dirt but didn't really comment on our waterproof sandwich boxes and collection of LED lights.

"See anything you like?" Jasper said when we walked through the doors, I just looked at him but then couldn't resist smiling – he always made me smile. We browsed through the shelves and put a few random items in a basket; a lovely green t-shirt, a matching 4 person tent, some gaiters, blister patches and a multisave bag of sporks. Funny seen as though we don't eat, luckily we have a nice space next to the last bag of sporks we bought.

Then a tall man with dark hair and grey eyes walked into the shop, I looked at him and he triggered one of my visions. I didn't want to see it, but I did. There was lots of laughter, clowns, elephants, loud fairground rides, hundreds of happy children huddled around the candyfloss stand. The carnival. Then the tall man with dark hair and the grey eyes pulled a brown paper package out out of his inside pocket and threw it into the main crowd. The scene suddenly changed; there was panicked screaming, helicopters, sirens, flames, the children were screaming as they got carried off by the emergnacy services. A bomb had gone off, this man was a terrorist. He was going to kill all of those innocent children.

I came back round and I was in Jasper's arms and we were outside the light blinded me – the vision was dark like it was night time, "Sorry" I muttered pulling myself to my feet. "What did you see?" he asked, while I looked around frantically. The tall man with dark hair and grey eyes was gone. "I have to save them" I panicked. Where was he?

"Have to save who? Alice?" he looked concerned. "I have to save the children" I closed my eyes and saw their happy faces eating candyfloss and laughing, then them being carried away in stretchers into helicopters. This man was a monster, and I would be a monster if I just let him go ahead with it. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had to stop him!

"What children?" Jasper asked making me open my eyes. "Someone is going to bomb Forks." I stumbled on my own words, looking into his eyes hoping her would believe me.

"Why Forks?" He asked, I was asking the same question to myself. It was such a small community, the only time I had seen over a hundred people in one place was this morning when people were queueing in their cars to get to the carnival.

"I don't know" I confessed. He held me in his arms as I panicked to myself, I couldn't just stay here while this happened though – I had to find that man. I would kill him if I had to, I would drink his blood if it made him stop.

"It will be okay, you really need to calm down – we'll talk about this tomorrow" he smiled trying to lead me to the car.

"No" I said, "He's going to bomb them tonight! Its a one night only carnival." I whispered. My blood curled, what was I actually going to do? I was only one person, but they had to live.. their smiles, theirs laughs, their bright eyes – they didn't have one evil cell in their little bodies, it's cruel to kill children when people like me can't have them. Hundreds of little human girls and little human boys were going to suffer because of one foolish man.

I was going to stop him. "Jasper, where did that man go?" I asked.

"What man?" he looked really confused.

"The one in the shop" I said.

"Erm, I think he went" He said, looking around.

"That man, I have to find him" I told Jasper.

He clicked, "That man was the terrorist?" He asked suprised, I nodded. "Wow, this place is so small on crime I don't even know how to spot them!" He looked down the street, how far had he gotten?

"I can't let him do this" I whispered.

"maybe it's out of your hands, ever heard of fate?" he sighed.

"I don't believe in fate" I muttered as I climbed into the driver's side of my car, "Now you can come with me, or not" I said igniting the engine.

"You think your going alone" He laughed, climbing in the passenger seat.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

I drove as fast as the car could possibly take us, I hated putting Jasper at risk like this but he wouldn't of let me come alone and he knew how much this suddenly meant to me. "Remember as much as you can Alice" he encouraged, trying to pinpoint the time and place exactly.

"It was dark, so I'm guessing it was night time or late evening" I looked up to the sun that was still abit away from the horizen, we had time – but not alot of it. "And it was near the candyfloss but I saw clowns, elephants and a huge crowd of people" I said.

"I just can't get my head around why somebody would want to bomb Forks" He said as we pulled into the main queue of traffic to enter the Carnival. "I only see the outcomes, not the reasoning behind it"

"What do you think they want?" he asked, I looked at him in confusion "Dose it matter?"

"I used to be in the army Alice, people don't just bomb innocent people for no reason, he wants something or wants to prove something or something" he was getting as impatient as I was with the waiting. "Something?" I almost laughed.

"We need Edward" He said pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dialled then held it to his ear. "Edward, it's Jasper" He said. The queue slowly moved and we got a few yards to the enterance, "How busy?" he asked. I sat tapping the steering wheel imapatiently. "No, leave her with Esme – you have to come _now" _he pleaded. "Seriously Edward, this is important" he half snapped, he wasn't _angry_ with Edward.

"You know, sometimes your really a suckish brother" he growled putting the phone down, "What's going on? Why isn't he coming?" I asked panicking. _What was I expecting to happen in here? What if everybody still died? Jasper couldn't be here. I had to keep him safe. He's everything._

"Calm down, Alice" he said and with it I was instantly calm and more confident, I could do this. I would save them.

"Ticket." The woman in the booth called as we got to enterance. "Erm, sorry we don't have tickets" I said, she sighed and rolled her eyes "No ticket – no entry" she sounded like a man.

"Listen lady" Jasper said leaning over me, "Just let us okay" he said passing her a bundle of cash tied together in the middle. The gate to the carpark opened – finally. No thanks though, there must of been close to two hundred there.

"You didn't have to do that" I said, locking my car. He nodded "Oh yes I did, you have to know how to work the people" he said wrapping his arm around my waist. "Now we have ourselves a terrorist to find" he smiled – almost as if this was a game.

The carnival was so big and loud, I was suprised it all fit into one oversized tent. Hyper children ran around our feet, their faces decorated with beautiful swirling patterns. Lights flashed mercilessly through the tent in a trance, our ears were filled with the sound of cheesy carnival music and laughter. Costumed men walked around taking pictures with the families: a clown, a donkey, the incredible hulk, disney princesses... _Count dracula._

"These children's stories are so far from the truth" he said, his eyes looked at the man with the whispy black hair, fangs, old fashioned suit and bloodstained shirt.

I nodded, "But since when did humans look like that?" I indicated the tiny blonde woman playing the disney princess with the poofy dress, frills, giant shoulders, tiny waist and hair down to her ankles. He shrugged indifferently.

"Where did you see him?" Jasper asked carefully slipping through the crowd, making sure not to brush against anyone. "it wasn't here, it was in the center" I said pointing to the supporting pole that held the tent up in the middle.

"Makes sense, if you wanted to blow the whole place up" he said, gripping my hand "I swear you have a death wish" he almost laughed as we swerved through the people, constantly getting closer to the center pole. "I don't" I protested, "We've lived through more than a little explosive" I smiled. He rolled his eyes but I pretended not to notice.

My phone rang in my pocket, "Hello" I said as I held the phone to my ear.

"Hey, it's Edward – I'm free now what's wrong?" he asked, his voice was panicky.

"Edward, you get yourself down to this carnival right now!" Jasper growled through the phone, I snatched it back from him.

"Edward we need you" I pleaded, "We need to know what this guy is thinking"

"What guy?" he asked.

"the _bomber_ guy" Jasper laughed when I whispered the word Bomber some man gave me a dodgy look like I was a terrorist.

"What Bomber? In Forks?" he half laughed, then sighed "Unbeliveable"

"Can you hurry?" I asked, impatiently. "I'm on my way Alice" he promised as I snapped the phone shut in my grip.

"Should we go back to the Enterance to meet Edward? Or keep going?" Jasper asked gripping onto my hand,

"He'll be awhile, they'll be a massive queue now" I said, I had to find this man and I was so close I could almost taste defeat.

"Come on then!" Jasper encouraged as he pulled me through the crowd, closer to the center.

My vision had taken place here, the candyfloss stand on the left and everything – just an earlier time of day. The sight made me have to catch my breath, I was so close to saving all of these people. The old lady desperate to win the stuffed dog, the kid with the giant ream of tickets – these people would all of died.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

The buzz of the carnival was a difficult thing to ignore. Dispite the circumstances Jasper seemed happier than ever, only that's because he really _is_ effected by the feelings and emotions of the people around him and besides me, everybody here was enjoying themselves immensely.

"We should come here next year, bring Nessie, she'de love this!" Jasper beamed. "Hm, yeah maybe... Jasper this is where it happens" I said, the sun was beginning to set and there was still no sign of the man with the grey eyes.

"The center pole itself" Jasper said leaning against a giant pole, I looked up and it stretched right to the cieling. "Candyfloss stand" He said tilting his head to the left where a great big jolly man stood twirling candyfloss on a stick.

"And the crowd would be there" I said pointing to an empty ticket booth, a sign read 'Circus 7pm'. I looked at the clock on my mobile, 6.10pm.

"Can you see him?" I asked, because I certainly couldn't.

Jasper shrugged "Maybe he's not here yet"

My phone rang in my pocket, "Where are you guys?" Edward asked. "Inside, where are you?" I asked. "Outside" he said, "Helpful." I muttered.  
"Sorry, I'll be in as soon as I can. So what does this guy look like?" He asked.

"He was tall, taller than you at least with grey eyes and dark hair" I said, "You dont realise how many guys out here are taller than me with dark hair, and I'm not prepared to get close enough to any of them to see their eye color" he half laughed.  
"Erm, okay. He had a long jacket on with inside pockets, I think it was green?" I said looking at Jasper.  
"It was black" Jasper whispered.  
"Okay, it was black" I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Your completly hopeless Alice, I'll see you inside" Edward said as he hung up.

"Who wears green Jackets?" Jasper teased, I ignored him. Everything in that shop was the same horrible shade of green and I was too _busy _really to notice the colour of his jacket.

"I have a green Jacket" I mumbled. _I did. _My wardrobe was like a rainbow, so beautiful – the result of years of bored weekends alone in Rome, Paris and New york before Jasper came into my life.

We kept searching until Edward arrived at 6.25pm, this man was nothing more than a pathetic coward, not showing his face like this. A brutal man who can't even look into his victim's faces.

"Did you see what kind of bomb he had?" Edward whispered, we didn't want to frighten the people.

"No, it was just like a parcel in a brown paper" I said, shaking my head. Did it really matter?

He shrugged, "I'm just trying to piece together why anybody would do this"

6.45 and still no sign.  
6.55 .... nothing.

"Where is this guy?" I moaned, the carnival was becoming too much. I had the worst headache ever, I rolled my eyes to the cieling. There he was, looking straight down at us... at me. He was looking straight into my eyes. He was stood on the platform the preformers used, a thin metal ladder stretched up the distance.

I looked away, hoping he wouldn't do anything drastic. "Jasper!" I squealed. Jasper and Edward were by my sides, "Don't all look up at once, but I know where he is" I whispered.

"You do?" Jasper said looking up, I had to hit him really hard with my elbow so he'de look back down. "Sorry" I whispered.

"Jasper you really have to get out of here" I pleaded. This man had a _bomb. _This suddenly wasn't safe anymore and I couldn't have him at risk like this. "I have to do this alone" I whispered.

Edward and Jasper looked at me as though I was on drugs, "You expect us to sit back and watch?" Edward looked really offended.

"At least wait at the bottom" I said looking mostly to Jasper, his face fell. "Your not going up there!" he said raising his voice to more than a whisper. "I have to" I told him and left his side, heading for the ladders. I looked up and it seemed his own way down was this ladder as the tight rope only lead to an identical platform like this one.

He was looking away now, at first I thought he had dissapeared but he was there alright. I gripped onto the cold metal bars and looked up the never ending ladder, I felt a surge of fear build up in my throat. Jasper's hands suprised me, as he clung to my body.

"Please don't do this" he whispered in my ear. "Please, Alice" he repeated. I looked into his golden eyes and felt how he was hurting, "Come with me" I asked, finally. Part of me really didn't want to drag him into this – the selfless Alice who never seems to get listened to, but the selfish Alice wanted him to come with me.

We climbed the ladder at a normal speed, a speed I guessed a human would climb a ladder at. My stylish shoes were proving awkward with my human speed, the heel kept getting caught behind the bar.

"Don't move" Jasper said when we got to the platform, the man with the dark coat jumped and turned around. "Woah man" he said as Jasper growled at him. His eyes were full of regret and fear as he looked behind him and saw the long drop that awaited him.

"What's a guy like you doing up here?" I asked, wondering if he would confess – he seemed weak like an easy nut to crack.

He took a small step back, "Don't come any closer" the panic filled his voice. "I have a bomb" he stumbled on his words.

"Why would you want a bomb?" I asked, "Why would you want the people of Forks to suffer?" he was beginning to anger, as was I.

"Seriously lady, I'll bomb this place" he said looking behind him again, he was completly trapped. "Don't call me lady" I said taking a few steps towards him so I was in his face.

"Somebody call security! She's going to push him!" A lady screamed. We looked down and saw an old lady pointing at me, then suddenly all the faces were looking up at me – some gasped. Was was I painted to be the bad one?

"The police are coming" Jasper sighed looking around in all directions for a quick escape. The police didn't really bother _us, _but Carlisle prefered when we stayed on the straight and narrow.

A grin spread across the man's face. "You'll get blamed for this" he laughed, a tear of relief in his eye. I heard clunking as somebody with heavy feet started climbing the ladder, numerous people. I didn't have any time anymore, this was it, what it all came down to. I couldn't just let this man walk away freely. I wouldn't.

"We'll have to break through" Edward suggested. We all looked up to the red thin plastic roof, if we sliced through it it would hide our tracks and we could escape unconspicuously. _In theory._

"After you" Jasper encouraged, Edward stood on the railing and cut through the plastic. It made a horrible noise but it was well and truely cut open, an escape. He jumped through in a dissapointingly non-human way, I hoped nobody noticed his monster jump.

"Come on, Alice" Jasper said stretching out his hand to me. "Leave him for them, it's their Job" he said taking my hand, his eyes were pleading.

"I was always one to take matters into my own hands" I said lifting the man effortlessly and throwing him idly through the gap in the plastic, hoping Edward would catch him. If he didn't how much would it matter? Not alot.

I heard a gasp and turned to see the head of a police officer who had reached the top of the ladder. "Quick" Jasper encouraged. I leaped through the hole, not caring how unhuman my jump had been, Jasper by my side.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

We were finally out in the open, the scene was so dramatically different to the lively Carnival. It was late now and the sky was dark, the moonlight glistened off my skin slightly. Edward restraigned the man with one hand and held a brown paper parcel in the other.

"Huh? How did you?" I asked, grabbing the parcel. It was heavy but I daren't look inside, I doubted it was one but I had heard of letter bombs. "Well, it wasn't exactly hard" he said rolling his eyes.

"Well you could of done without scaring him" Jasper muttered. "Hey, you!" I turned quickly too see the officer. I turned away as soon as I noticed who it was, hoping he hadn't regonised me I turned to run. The tent brought a spring to my step, it was like walking on a bouncy castle.. only we were running. When we got to the end of the tent we stopped running. "You don't expect me to jump that do you?" The man looked at me, fear in his eyes.

"Pretty much" Edward said, grabbing him at the waist as we jumped to the ground. I looked all around and there was no one. At least nobody had wittnessed that inhuman jump, I felt like I was breaking all the rules tonight. "That wasn't natural" the man muttered, dusting himself off.

"Should we go to Carlisle?" Edward suggested. I nodded, walking towards my car. "I'll take this guy" Edward said walking towards his car still gripping the guy's arm. Once inside the car it was suddenly quiet, the brown parcel was still in my hands I had clung to it the whole journey. "This could of killed us" I said, stroking the rough paper. "It could of killed hundreds" I shook my head.

"You really saved all those people" Jasper sighed, not looking at me. "Whats wrong?" I asked,

"We just went against against everything Carlisle ever told us" he said taking the parcel out of my hands so I could drive. As we pulled out of the carpark I remembered the officer's face. Charlie Swan. I hoped he hadn't reconized me, but what were the chances he hadn't? And his son-in-law was just stood there, ready to be arrested. This wasn't good. We were home before Edward, Carlisle and Esme stood in the porch. They didn't look dissapointed, or angry, or worried but I still felt like a guilty teenager.

I walked up towards them, "How did everything go?" Carlisle asked. "Forks is bomb free" Jasper said passing him the brown parcel. Carlisle took it, raising an eyebrow "You didn't get rid of it?"

"I don't know how to get rid of a bomb!" I confessed. And Jasper was in the army all those years back, hundreds of years back, did he expect him to remember how to disarm a bomb?

"I'll sort it now," Jasper said taking the bomb back off Carlisle and walking into the house. "Is everything okay?" Esme asked, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Everything's fine" I smiled, I heard an engine behind me. Edward was back. How was I going to explain my logic behind bringing the terrorist home and not leaving him to the police?

"Before you say anything, he's seen too much to just release him now" I said quietly. The man came into view and Carlisle's face dropped, "You brought him here?" he gasped.

"The cops," I paused "_Charlie _saw us, I just ran. I wasn't thinking" I confessed. Edward walked over holding the guy's arm, "I don't think he has any intention of doing anything" Carlisle said, Edward raised an eyebrow and pointed to the side of the guy's head. He was proberbly planning on how he was going to attempt to kill us all, although he would fail misribly because we aren't fragile humans. Or planning on running, telling the police. Becoming the local hero who escaped the "Evil monsters".

"Take him inside," Carlisle said, letting Edward past him – the man at his arm. "So what did you find out?" He asked me. "Not alot" I confessed.

"His name?" he asked.

"No idea, we didn't have time to exchange life stories really" I said, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

"We'll sort this" Carlisle smiled was big and proud, "You did the right thing saving those people Alice" he beamed. He was reassuring me, I _had_ done the right thing after all.

Once in the lounge we began to ask him questions.

"_Whats your name?"  
"Where did you come from?"  
"Why did you plan this?"  
"Were you out to get sombody?"  
"Were you trying to kill yourself?"  
"Were you drugged?"  
"Did you expect to get away with this?"  
_The questions flew like daggers in his direction and he looked overwhelmed with our curiousity, possibly because he had spent the car drive with the guy who was least likely to ask questions.

"Okay" the man said sitting up in his seat "If I start this story, I have to finish it. Don't judge me until you've heard all the facts" he said looking at each of our faces like he was staring into stone.

I nodded "We will listen" I said speaking for the group, if they didn't want to hear it they could easily walk out of the room.

"Okay, my name is Andrew Matthews. This time last month I was just your average guy, I had a wife and three beautiful daughters. I was a plummer for a company called Mike's Pipes and I had worked there since I was sixteen. One night while I was out working my Wife and the girls; Rianne, Isobella and Cathrine were murdered in their beds. I came home to my dead family, they were my whole world. You have no idea how it feels to loose your family like that" He said, Bella looked at him – she still had all this to come. Her mother, father and all her friends were going to die eventually. Of course he didn't know that though.

"My police told me they had no leads, that the killer didn't spill a drop of blood, or loose a hair or leave even a finger print. I went through hell and back for the next week, I nearly killed myself but I was stopped by my best friend at the time. He convinced me he would help me track down the people who did this, I didn't know at the time that he had some bizzaree feeling that Vampires actually existed. He dragged me into his cult, they told me enough evidence for me to believe that there are creatures out there that drink human blood and live unconspicuously among humans" he laughed, shaking his head.

"He told me he had heard of a Vampire family that lived here in Forks, Washington. He said they weren't the only ones of their kind but I figured if I killed this one family then the others would hear right? And know that they are really not wanted. They can't go around killing the innocent." He said.

"You mean like you were going to do tonight?" I asked,

"I'm not finished" he snapped to me.

"I was prepared to kill everybody in the world, so that these Vampires wouldn't get away with this. I doubt it was the first time but I wanted it to be their last. These people aren't innocent, they are allowing Vampires to live among them don't you get that!? This is _your _fault for not destorying every single last one in the first place" he said looking away, the people in the cult had brainwashed him pretty well into believing all of this. Enough to sacrifice himself, enough to sacrifice the children.

Carlisle looked to me in disbelief,

"Vampires?" Edward mocked suprise, "Living here?!"

"Not here, this isn't Forks is it?" he asked,

"No, it isn't. I think you should go to sleep and we'll talk in the morning. You may use Renesmee's room" Edward said. Renesmee's room was the only room that had a bed and it was empty due to Renesmee sleeping at her friend's house.

"Hm, yeah" he said looking at his watch "You don't mind me staying do you?" he asked.

"We have little choice" Carlisle said looking to me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

"Edward tell me everything he is thinking, he hasn't figured us out yet has he?" I asked, it was 4am and Andrew still wasn't awake. Humans are so annoying, why do they have to sleep?

"He dosen't know anything" he reassured me, "He's searching for some Countess with fangs and red eyes that lives in a dark evil castle on the hill with a moat and sleeps in a coffin" he laughed.

"Your joking right?" I asked raising an eyebrow, "Of course I'm joking! He has no idea what he's looking for, he was trying to kill himself with that bomb yesterday – apparently the explotion would of blown half of the forest up" he said, then sighed.

"But the jumping and the throwing? Does he just think we work out alot?" I asked looking at my own non existant muscles. "He's human, not stupid" Edward teased.

"He dosen't know, maybe he thinks he imagined all of that" Edward shrugged, I looked at him. He was being serious. "You know your completly useless" I said as I walked away shaking my head.

Carlisle and Esme were still completly in the dark when it came to us breaking the rules, they sat on the lounger talking about Andrew's former life and what they would suggest when the desicion had to be made, which it did.

I stood on the other side of the wall, so they couldn't see me. I wanted to know what they were thinking because I had no idea's on what my own thoughts were. I had been so sure that this guy was a brutal killer, but now everything had changed. He was the victim of a Vampire that tried to kill the whole family but missed the father who was at work. He was trying to commit suicide in a way that would also kill the Vampires. _Us. _That had no intention of attending.

"We could just set him free, he's not looking to kill _us. _He's trying to kill something we're not" Carlisle assured Esme.

"We aren't like those Vampires though, we can't let him leave with such a negative view on our species" Esme said.

"It's not our problem, but we need to destroy tell the Volturi about this allience immediatly" Carlisle said picking up his phone, I could tell from the dial tone.

"No" Esme protested and the line went dead, "Wait until we learn more" She said quietly. "We might not have to involve _them" _she spoke with dislike.

I walked to my room, they didn't know the full story how could they be helping my thoughts? My thoughts kept flipping back to Charlie Swan, stood there his eyes wide in disbelief. How could I tell Bella that her dad might know? I took a detour, I had to tell her after all.

I knocked on the cottage door and Bella answered, She came out of the cottage and shut the door behind herself. "I was just watching him sleep" she admitted, "It's so relaxing, I envy him so much" she laughed lightly.

"Bella, I don't know how to tell you this but your father might of seen me, Edward and Jasper running away from him on the Carnival roof" I shuffled on my feet nervously as I spoke.

"WHAT?!" she said raising her voice, "How?" she said quieter.

"How many cops are there in Forks?" I asked, She nodded indifferently we were never fully staffed in our police department.

"I'm so sorry Bella" I sighed, hugging her tightly. "I didn't mean to get in trouble with the police, actually I didn't see myself on the top of that tent at all"

She shrugged, "My father dosen't believe what he dosen't want to believe and he didn't want you to be you tonight so he wont believe it, if that makes sense" she rambled.

"Yeah, I get you. I _think_" I said.

Everything suddenly went dark. In the distance I could see a hill, this was where I hunted when I didn't want to be far from home. Aro, Jane, Felix, Alec, Caius and Demetri approached slowly, their dark cloaks fluttered in the wind. It felt as though death was approaching me, I was terrorfied by these people.

Light.

I was in Bella's arms. "Alice, your visions aren't what they used to be. You just collapsed, it was like you were suddenly lifeless" she said shaking her head. "Bella" I whispered.

She dragged me to my feet, "What is it Alice?" she asked looking genuinly concerned.

"The Volturi are coming" I said, the words rolled off my tounge like a death sentance.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

"The Volturi?" she asked in a whisper. "Why would they come here?" she said then realised and gasped. "Alice!" she said taking a step back and stomped her foot "This seriously isn't happening!?" she shrieked. "Tell me this isn't happening" she said, shaking me. "Not again" she whispered.

"I'm so sorry" I said quietly, cradling her in my arms. "I'll sort this" I promised. She looked up to me, "The decision has already been made?" she asked, it wasn't really a question. "I suppose news travels quickly" I sighed.

"What did you do?!" she asked, she was breathing slowly proberbly to calm herself.

"We did what we had to do to get out of there, so your father wouldn't arrest us" I admitted, we had failed in not being noticed. We had spent all those years living the secret and now it was all over.

Jasper's touch suprised me. I turned to face him, "The news paper just arrived" he said passing it to me, it was folded so the frount page was covered. I took it and unfolded it, the headline made me blink "Freak show in Carnival last night" _Freak show? _I began reading the artical.

"_Last night the annual Carnival was gate crashed by a group of young adults. The residents were all deeply terrorfied as they looked on while a female (around the age of 18) and a male (aged around 20) argued on a podeum suspended 50 feet in the air. We are unsure of their identities. We are also looking for two males (both aged around 17-19) who had blonde hair. If you have any information please call us on 0800 038295.  
The crowd stood still as the female threw the older male through the roof of the tent, effortlessly. We believe these individuals are highly dangerous and should be locked away as soon as possible. They escaped jumping over 60 feet off the Carnivals roof so it is clear we are working with very abnormal people, to live after that kind of fall.  
As soon as the police got close enough to the people they had escaped, are are out there somewhere. We simply have to find them. Head of police – Charlie Swan discribed them as "Unbelieveably fast and fearless" he also said "We will do everything we can to get these individuals into the court of Justice" Continues on page 9"_

I dropped the paper. How was this all happening? How were we front page news?

"Alice, it's okay" Jasper said holding me in his arms. He always sensed when I was upset and right now I was feeling so guilty I could of cried. "Carlisle said it's about time we moved anyway" he said stroking my hair, "We've outstayed our welcome"

"No, I can't go. Not _now. _Not while Charlie's alive, Don't you understand? These years are all I have" she said, then ran intot he house to Edward and Carlisle.

"We can't stay forever" he whispered. I nodded, I was used to this. "I'm suppost to be nearly 21, and in there it says they are looking for a 19 year old" he said.

This was our existance after all, a few years here, a few years there. A house in Forks, a house in New Zealand, a house in the UK, a house on a small unhabited island. This was all we ever did, and a few years was nothing before we had to move on.

"Bella's going to be crushed" I whispered. "And its all my fault" I felt like somebody had taken away my insides and stomped on them repeatedly then put them back in.

"No Alice," he said holding me at arms length, "This is all his fault" he said indicating towardst the cottage, Andrew. "We have to pack everything this morning, we'll leave at midday. Carlisle's got the boxes out of the loft" he said taking my hand and leading me into he house.

"We aren't packing furniture, everything but. That means clothes, shoes, orniments, rugs, perfume, you know... everything we can fit in the truck." Esme smiled as she passed me several boxes.

"how's Bella?" I asked Esme as she packed a suitcase full of bundles of money.

"Carlisle and Edward are speaking to her" she said, "I'm sure they'll talk her into this"

Jasper took a couple of cardboard boxes out of the pile. We walked up the stairs together "I'm going to get all my clothes" I smiled to him, trying to fool him into believing I wasn't dying on the inside.

"I'll start packing Edward's CDs, I think he has his hands pretty tied at the moment" he returned the smiled, how much did I actually love that smile?

I robotically placed the clothes into the cardboard boxes color by color. I loved my clothes, not as much as I loved Jasper but they did ease the pain. An effective painkiller. I decided to change out of my casual but smart wear and into something that reflected my mood. I changed into pure white, we were starting a new page as new people. Clean, fresh new people – like my cotton dress.

It took a full hour to collect all my clothes together. I hummed as I worked efficiantly and when I was finished the others had almost packed the whole house. Bella walked into my bedroom looking worn and defeated.

"Im sorry" I said silently. "We're going now" Bella said emotionlessly. I stood to my feet and carried the boxes out of the room, down the hall and into the truck. We were using an old removal truck Carlisle kept in storage most of the time.

"Andrew" I called running over to where the man stood. "Where are you going?" I asked, he was fully dressed – coat and all. "He's coming with us" Carlisle said. "We're dropping him off on our way to Europe" He looked to Andrew "Where he will leave us and not go to the police" he smiled, Andrew returned the smile.

I looked to Edward "Is this true?" I asked, was he planning on grassing us up? He knew where we were heading now. Europe. United kingdom, France, Spain, _Italy_. _Volturi. _We were going closer to the Volturi.

"Yeah, he's not going to say anything to anyone. Apparently he has some friends in Europe that can help him back onto his feet" Edward said, Andrew nodded. "I sure do" he smiled.

"Lets get on the road then" I tried to sound enthusiastic. "Me and Esme will take Andrew in the truck, Alice and Jasper take the porche, Edward and Bella take the Volvo, Rosalie and Emmett can take the Jeep and Jacob and Renesmee will follow" Carlisle smiled. "Nobody will suspect us in Europe, it's a brand new house near the coast where it's hardly ever sunny" He said climbing into the truck.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

We followed Carlise's truck heading for the boarder, "I can't help feeling guilty Jasper" I confessed. Looking into his deep golden eyes, they were the exact same shade as mine or Emmetts but they looked different like I could see his whole soul in them. They were deeper than Emmetts.

"Bella will forgive you" Jasper promised, "Now relax" he whispered. I let his talent take over my whole body, relaxing me to the tips of my toes. It calmed my brain and I was instantly relaxed, "Do you want me to drive?" Jasper offered.

"Ha! No" I laughed sitting upright in my seat. "Why not?" he asked looking slightly offended

"Your a horrible driver" I smiled to him, "Oh, thanks" he said looking out of the window and into the miles of forest that was Forks.

"Is Jacob really coming?" I asked, making Jasper look away from the window and back to me. "Yeah, he wouldn't leave Renesmee and unfortunatly the Pack let him come" he said rolling his eyes.

"The pack let him come?" I asked suprised "They must take this imprinting soul mate stuff seriously"

"Could you let me go to Europe on my own?" He asked, I thought about it and how unbareable it would be. "Thats different" I mumbled, he laughed.

***

We got on the boat so we were finally after all those hours together. Jacob held a sleeping Renesmee in his arms, she had slept through the whole journey. I decided it was unappropriate to ask her what she thought she was doing wearing sweats outside the house. Or wearing them at all.

"So whats this house like?" Esme beamed to Carlisle, holding his hand.

"It's really something else, nothing like our house at home . Apparently it's really modern but I haven't had chance to look" he shurgged, Esme lit up with exitement "Isn't this just great?" she smiled.

"We can decorate it and call it our own" Carlisle returned the smile. They had such a loving relationship and they were just the perfect parents, more than I could ask for, more than Edward of Bella or Rosalie or any of us could ask for.

"I'm sure we'll fit in nicely, it will be nice to be by the sea" Jasper said looking to the sea "I'de love to swim instead of going on this stupid ferry" he sighed.

"We could swim, but I think we've broken enough rules for one day" I said, I was still as relaxed as I always was around Jasper.

He nodded indifferently, the ferry went over a large wave making Renesmee stir. She awoke and rubbed her eyes, "You awake sleepy?" Jacob cooed.

"Where am I?" Renesmee asked looking around to see endless water, "Oh erm, your Grandad decided it was time to go on a much needed vacation" he said.

"So you stole me from Claire's house?" she asked looking at us with a confused glance. "Yeah, sorry about that darling" he laughed lightly.

I imagined what it would be like at Claire's house now, Renesmee has been stolen out of her bed no where to be seen. They run to the Cullen's to find an empty home, nothing. They would be so confused.

"Claire knows you've gone on holiday sweetheart" Rosalie said, "We made sure she knew you were safe" she smiled.

My family were always so good at covering up their tracks, making us seem human when really we all lived a lie. A lioness of a lie that kept catching up on us, making us drop everything to keep this stupid secret.

The boat took us to Bergen in Norway where we set off on the road again, this was where we were heading. Europe, yay.

"This is amaaaaaazing" Esme squealed as we approached the building, granted it was something else. It was by the sea like Carlise had promised, "It's not home"Renesmee grimaced.

"It will be soon, I promise you'll love this place" Jacob said grabbing her and lifting her through the door. We walked in and turned the lights on, the white had faded and looked yellowish like a smoker had lived here before us. Cobwebs had collected in the corners and some of the floorboards were creaky.

"What a lovely fireplace, this must be from the late 1900's." Esme was always one to pick out the good points in something that really sucked.

"Hm, yeah. I'll get some tins of paint from the DIY shop when it opens" Rosalie smiled, I was irritating me how they were all enjoying themselves. Actually how they were all _pretending _to enjoy themselves, to please me.

"I'll go check out the other rooms" I offered. There was so much space and I hated it all, we only needed five or six rooms and there was nearly ten. It felt like a maze and I felt like a rat, trapped in it.

The dining room was huge, _what a waste._ The Kitchen was all new, somebody had fitted it with new cupboards.. _I don't know why they bothered._ I could only see the flaws, the cracked wallpaper.

"Are the Volturi still going to Forks?" Bella asked, I nodded. "What about my father?" she half whispered.

"He'll be fine, Jacob just phased and told Seth everything as soon as you can pinpoint a time he will tell Billy to take Charlie on a fishing trip" I said.

"This is going to be awful" Bella said, at least I wasn't the only one who felt it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

I heard Jasper gasp, I heard it from a few rooms away and I knew it wasn't a good gasp. I ran to Jasper, as quickly as I could. He was gripping the news paper I had seen a few hours ago, he was reading the artical inside.

"They all died" he whispered. _What was he saying? Who died?_

"They all died," he repeated. "We put everything at risk, we raised suspiction, we caused a scene and they still died." He rambled, I suddenly understood what he meant ripping the news paper out of his hands.

"Survivors; Charlie Swan" I sighed with relief. _He wasn't dead at least. _"How could this of happened? I got rid of the bomb!" I said throwing the newspaper to the ground. "I did everything I could" I whispered shrilly.

"There was a malfunction with the machinery, the whole tent burst in to flames twenty mintutes after we left. Charlie was the only officer to arrive, the other men were security that were already in the Carnival, Charlie was the only officer to leave" he muttered. "This all makes sense" he whispered.

"Huh?" Was all I could say, looking at his convinced face. "Fate" he said assurtively.

_Not this nonsense again. Fate, the people were meant to die, we shouldn't interfered. It was their time to leave._

"Don't you see?!" he asked, "They were all going to die either way, but it wasn't Charlie's time. Not yet" he reasoned with himself.

"No," I said, remembering my vision. I saw Andrew take the bomb out of his pocket, and then I saw fire. Did bombs actually cause fire? Or just an instant explosion? "I saw fire" I remembered. I had seen fire, I had seen the children and the old people and the jolly candyfloss man being carried away in stretchers.

"You saw this?" Jasper asked, pointing to the newspaper that laid opened on the floor – the picture of the event, the tent being swallowed by the flames. I nodded.

"I thought I saw the bomb" I said shaking my head, "I didn't actually see it explode, it could of been a dud"

"I disarmed it myself, that bomb was lethal. It was a deadly brutal monster of a bomb" Jasper said. A deadly brutal monster of a bomb.

"What if, the bomb never exploded though? What if he never threw it?" I reasoned. Was Andrew actually ready to kill himself? I didn't think so. I think he still had a reasonable amount of fight left in him. He was strong, but he wasn't the deadly brutal man I first thought of him to be. He wasn't a terrorist, he didn't have a negative auora.

"The fire was always going to happen" Jasper said reassuring my predictions "We misread the signs, we misjudged Andrew"

"I can't believe I put you at risk like that" I whispered, burrowing my head into his neck.

"This isn't about me" he said wrapping his arms tightly around me. "What's done is done"

He was right, this was the past. I just had to face my future, face the Volturi. Jasper was also right in saying this wasn't about him, I had to face them alone. It was _my _doing, and it would hurt a damn lot to be away from my family but I knew the Volturi wouldn't kill me. I was valuable and maybe I could repay my punishment.

"Don't" Edward stood in the doorway, he spoke assertively. "We will fight this Alice, we **won't **give in. Not now, not ever, not to them" he said. I hated it when he read my private thoughts, so intrusive. Couldn't he just control himself? Cover his ears or something?  
"It's nothing to do with my ears" Edward half laughed before walking into the room.

"Stop worrying about the Volturi!" Jasper shook me lightly then grabbedmy car keys.

"What are you doing?!" Edward shouted, "Are you insane!?" He half growled, what was he talking about?

"I'm doing what we should of done instead of trying to escape all of our fears, I'm going to face them." He said pulling his jacket on. "I'm going to the Volturi and I'm going to tell them.. well I don't know what I'm going to tell them! But it's better than sitting in this hell hole pretending" he made the word pretending sound like something cowardly and disgusting.

"Jasper your not thinking straight, we need to think about this _logically, _you can't just drive down to Italy like and hand yourself in. Think of what that would do to Renesmee, she loves you" I tried to pursuade him, I tugged at his Jacket until he finally gave in and wrapped me in his arms.

"I would do anything to make us safe again" Jasper whispered. Edward took the car keys out of Edward's hands and put them in his pocket, Jasper wasn't going anywhere tonight. But the decision was made, we weren't going to sit around and wait for our fate to catch up on us. We were going to do something, whatever it takes.

"We could go to the clearing and fight them, kill every last one" I reasoned, "We could catch them off guard on their way to Forks, giving us the upperhand. We could call the Denali coven, the Amazon coven, Peter and Charlotte" I broke off mid-sentance as Jacob Black walked into the room.

"Thats an amazing idea Alice, those Volturi want destroying. The whole pack would help, I'm sure" he beamed. Why did everbody keep walking in? Were we so loud or was it because everybody here had super hearing? I went with the super hearing thing.

"A plane for forks leaves in the morning" Carlisle said from my doorway, "If you really want to go through with this then we'll fight them with everything we have" he smiled, he was sure we had a great chance of winning; the Volturi was undeniably strong but now we had a perfected Bella, that we could use as the strongest weapon and we had Renesmee who could fight herself, she was nearly an adult and I don't think we could pursude her to sit back and watch.

"Oh we will pursuade her" Edward mumbled, I hated the way he read my thoughts. It's like reading someone's journal. So rude and creepy.

"We could of gotten the plane?!" I asked, "Why the hell did we drive?!"

"We needed the cars" Carlisle pointed out,

"We need them now, they have everything we own in them" My clothes, I thought selfishly.

"I've sorted it already, We'll just put them back on the ferry and somebody's going to pick them up on the other side, put them in storage until we can go and get them" Carlisle assured me.

I took a deep breath, to clear my mind. "Okay" I exhaled. "Lets do this" I decided, we were going to fight the Volturi _again_ and we were going to win.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

We set off for Potrugal. Carlisle knew the exact path they would take and where we could catch them on their way, our arena was set. We just had to call everybody to let them know they had a fight to attend to. Would we actually win? I mean we would get close I'm sure, and with Bella it made the fight so much easier but some would be injured. I looked at Jasper and he seemed to have come to the same conclution, he grasped my hand and looked into my eyes. "It will all be okay" He promised uncertainly.

"You can't say that" I muttered, letting my hand fall. Where would I be without Jasper? I loved him so much it was untrue, but I wouldn't hand myself over to the Volturi if they defeated him. I would rip myself apart and burn the remains before I let them have me.

"I'll phone Peter and Charlotte" Jasper suggested, changing the subject. I sighed and looked out of the window, whatever had I done? Why was I such a no brainer?

Jasper explained the whole situation empisising that it was him that this would effect, Peter and Charlotte didn't care for me – only Jasper. He _had_ saved their lives.

He hung up then smiled to me, "They'll come, They're on their way. Relax" I was begining to dislike his talent, I was completly blissed out right now but if he did get defeated I would be in such a state. _Don't think like that, He'll be fine _I kept telling myself.

It was then Jacob called me, I thought of letting Jasper answer but I then thought against it – I wanted to know what was going on.. so I let Jasper drive.

I took note of how he didn't say hello. "I called the pack and they're on their way" Jacob said,

"All of them?!" I don't know if I was happy or just plain shocked.

"Yeah, they're so glad you decided to fight the Volturi – They love a good Fight" he was almost beaming down the phone with exitement.

".. I didn't decide" I said "It had to be done"

"Yeah, Suppose" he said and hung up. Werewolves are so ignorant it would of made me angry if I wasn't truely elated.

"All of them are coming" I told Jasper.

"Yeah, I heard" he said, I was a little loud.

"This fight is going to be pretty even" I said assertively.

Once in Portugal Carlisle guided us to where we were going to catch the Volturi by suprise, a grassy clearing. The time wasn't effecting us but the sun was just settling in the sky, Twilight hour.

Jacob drove Renesmee to the closest hotel and checked her in for the night, he left her a cell phone but he assured us she was asleep.

"We don't have long now" Carlise told all of our new arrivals as they came. I took a deep breath to calm myself then turned to Jasper, "Calm down" he whispered. I stood in the formation with the others dragging Jasper to my side,

I turned around to look at the pack who formed a semi-circle around us, there was so many! About 20! Some of them must of been so young, thirteen or fourteen.

I tried to do a headcount; Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bella, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Peter, Charlotte, Irina, Kate, Tanya, Eleazar, Zafrina, twenty werewolves .. I lost count and there was even more. This should of been an easy fight.

Jasper gripped my hand and within a breath they were coming over the horizen. Their dark cloaks were so daunting, they scared me. I squeezed Jasper's hand and closed my eyes.

"Aro, we've been expecting you" Carlisle said almost in a polite manner.

The Volturi guard seemed suprised to see us but Aro's face just creased slightly. "Oh Carlisle, what have you caused for youself now?" he said turning to look at him.

Everybody on their side had came, I looked amongst all of their faces; Jane, Alec, Felix. I froze, My mind started spinning what the hell was going on? I looked back at his face again and it was him! The same _guy. _Only with red eyes, he was a vampire! Andrew was a vampire! And he was part of the Volturi.

I looked to Edward and whispered "Did you know?" It was a stupid question but I couldn't believe my own eyes.

He shook his head "He kept it well hidden, Aro must of explained all our talents – even yours. He must of been in on this the whole time. He was a liar" he whispered then looked at me with weak eyes, "I'm so sorry Alice"

I half nodded "I don't blame you" I said then turned back to him, He had decived me.

"We haven't broken any rules" I said in a voice louder than a whisper, "All the wittness died, we're innocent" I said again.

"Ah, you've figured us out" Aro said then coiled his finger telling me to come to him. I looked back to Bella and she nodded, I was covered. I took a step forward and looked to Andrew "I knew we should of killed you when we had the chance" I shot at him.

"You did break the rules" Aro said "A human knows our secret."

"No" Bella whispered, "That's my father"

"Your father eh?" Aro said, "In that case it will be your duty to change him" His voice lingered. "Unless if you want us to take matters into our own hands"

"What is going on Aro?" Carlisle asked weakly "I thought we were on good terms."

"It was a test" he half laughed, "You failed"

It was then I lunged at him myself.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

I heard Jasper's voice but it didn't stop me. I flew at Aro full speed ripping a chunk out of his shoulder with my teeth. His shriek of pain ran through me, it made my skin tingle. I held the stone cold piece of him in my hand then took a couple of steps back holding it above my head.

Aro turned to look at his damaged shoulder in disgust then looked at me. His eyes burned into mine, making me take another step back my hand fell to my side. I grabbed the piece of rock in my hand tightly, I couldn't let go. Carlisle put his hand onto my shoulder, "Stop" he said, and he wasn't asking.

"No" I said, "We can win this" I looked back to Jasper who was smiled encouragingly. "Your more than out numbered and I'm not leaving without a fight" I heard Emmett cheer me on, he was always up for a fight.

"Well, I'm afraid you may be dissapointed" Aro said covering his injured shoulder with his hand. "You see, me and Carlisle are good friends"

Carlisle nodded. "We were good friends." He corrected him. "But you tested my family and we failed, so that means we cannot be friends anymore" he shrugged "If only there was an easier way to settle this" Carlisle hated a fight, thats why this one was put off in the past, but I could sense something had changed. Carlisle wanted this fight to happen.

"You could always surrender and go back to Italy, and never bother our family again" I offered.

Jane laughed, "Surrender?" she said, "Surrender to this" But there was nothing. No pain. I turned back to Bella who smiled at me, she was better than I thought – this was all effortless to her now.

I pocketed the piece of Aro, he was powerful but he wasn't whole anymore.

The fight began. Bella stood still stretching her protective aura around us all, the wolves got straight in attacking the guard, I knew who I had to destroy. This was all his fault.

I caught Andrew by suprise from behind, tearing his back into two. He yelled out in pain then turned to face me, "Alice" he said, his eyes were the brightest red, they made my stomach curl. "Andrew" I said to reply. Slashing a chunk out of his arm, fighting was much like dancing – I circled him and he followed, each step corrisponded to his, a wrong step and I was doomed.

"You lied to us" I said, ripping another chunk from him. "I got ordered to lie, it's my job" he said dodging my next move. He was making me angrier so he was easier to fight, I tore him to pieces in minutes then gathered them and threw them into the giant fire that had been sat in the clearing.

I looked for Jasper frantically. He was fighting Alec it seemed to be pretty even. I ran up behind him and clung to his back ripping chunks from his neck until the head came off clean. I was suprised by my own bravery and how I had already defeated two members of the Volturi in minutes. Jasper ripped his torso into several pieces then threw them into the fire.

The fight took twenty or so minutes. We circled the wives and got them two at a time, each time me and Jasper won. The Volturi's numbers were falling but ours seemed to be okay, I hadn't seen a single injury. When the fight was over we had won, Jasper wrapped me in his arms and everybody celebrated. "I knew we could do it" he whispered.

Renesmee walking into view with Jacob by her side, Bella ran to her and held her in her arms. The dark cloud that once followed us had been lifted, everybody was smiling. Carlisle walked over to me and I noticed he wasn't smiling.

"There was a loss on our side" he told me. I gasped looking around at all the faces, who was missing? "Jane got to Esme and she was stonger than her, I couldn't stop it and when I got to her it was already too late." He looked weak and lost. I hugged him tightly, _Why Esme? _

She was always so sweet and motherly, she had a heart bigger than anybody else's. Why would anybody do that to _her? _Why not me? The dark cloud actually hadn't gone anywhere, it was still hovering over us. I left Carlisle with Jasper and went over to the fire that had died out and was nothing but a heap of ashes. She had suffered because of me. She was _gone._

I saw something glisten from the pile of ashes, I knelt down and picked up a golden ring with tiny topaz stones nestled int the gold. Esme's wedding ring. I grabbed it in my hand and walked back to Carlisle, I held out my hand and revealed the band of gold.

"Thankyou" he said quietly. "We best go home now" he started walking towards his car.

Everything seemed wierd inside the house. It didn't feel right anymore. Esme had always been there for over a hundred years and now she just wasn't. It was cruel the way they cut her existance short, even if we had done it to every one of them. The dark cloud followed us home and everything and everybody seemed glum. Nobody cried though, we didn't have the ability to cry.


	11. Chapter 11

Imagine life without light, that was what it felt like. My heart was missing something, it didn't feel whole. It was as though my blood mother had died and taken everything that was sanity with her. This wasn't fair, victory seemed pointless now. We went back to the house in forks, Jasper held me for hours, that lead to days that rolled into weeks. He didn't sigh, or roll his eyes. He just held me and tried to comfort me, I felt bad that he had to feel everything but he made the pain go away.

"Why didn't I see it?" I asked eventually, thoughts had been circuling in my head and now it seemed insane to not even talk to Jasper of all people.

He held my hands tightly and sighed, "You can't blame yourself." He said.

"I don't blame Jake either, we wouldn't of won without his pack" I reminded him, of course it was the wolves that had blocked my vision but why? Why couldn't I just get over that hurdle?

For the first time since the fight Carlisle walked through the door to our bedroom, his hair was longer and his eyes were duller but he was wearing his white doctor's uniform and he had a briefcase in his hand. "I'm going to work," he told us.

Jasper looked concerned, "Why?" he asked.

"Because life goes on. I've spent an amazing hundred years with Esme, and in that time I have saved a thousand lives or so. I need to get back to putting into the community, for my own sake." He nodded as though he was convincing himself.

I thought about it, what were we achiving moping around? Nothing, Renesmee was getting on with things just fine as were Rosalie and Emmett – we needed to get back into the swing of things. I got to my feet and realised my legs were shaking and I was weak.

"We haven't hunted for a month, you've just been wasting away" Carlisle commented. "Go hunting in the north with Jasper, take your mind off things for awhile" he smiled.

"I've had my mind off things for a while now, and I think I'm needed here. I'll go hunting in the mountains just off the coast then I'll come back home" I looked to Jasper who nodded.

Running in the mountains gave me hope. Prehaps things could get back to the way they once were. I hunted mountain lions and severed their heads from their thrithing bodies effortlessly, my heart warmed by the thick oozing life running through my veins. I didn't want to stop and we didn't for awhile until it was dark and all the lions went into their hiding places. Then I found Jasper draining a full grown leapord in the valley, and we returned home together.

Renesmee's hair was overgrown and out of control, "I thought Rosalie would of done this for you" I pulled her hair back from her face with a wide tooth comb,

"She's had things on her mind" she shrugged, "Spent alot of time in her room, just like you really."

"Well your grandma's death hit us all pretty hard," I cut ringlets that were trailing down past her waist.

Renesmee smiled sweetly, "She's in a better place now." She said.

"You think?" I pulled her thick hair though my fingers finding the longer culs and chopping them off mercilessly.

Renesmee bit her lip and looked up to me, "She's in heaven." She said.

I smiled back to her, "Of course she is" I assured her.

How could I be sure though? The afterlife for our kind was suppost be a cruel dark one, filled with bleak outcomes. However Esme, she had a heart of gold encrusted with tiny diamonds, her motherly instincts towards her adopted childern were stronger than any mother – she deserved a bright colourful afterlife, filled with every colour of the rainbow and the other colours only we can see. She deserved everything any human could ask for and more.

Renesmee had to be right and that settled the whole in my heart. It made it all okay, because everything was okay and life would go on as it had done for decades before I met the cullens. I wouldn't loose another because the Volturi were dead, every single last one of them. It was a Vampire's world now. But Vampires are smart, so everything is alright.

I would never ever leave Jasper's influence ever, because then maybe the dark cloud would come back, and I couldn't live with that.

For now I had everything, everyone and every corner of my heart was filled even if it would never beat.


End file.
